How many of you have watched movies like The Notebook, Say Anything, or P.S. I Love You and
thought that love was supposed to be like the movies? I know that I have fallen
victim to Ryan Gosling’s character in The Notebook thinking, if only I could
find my Noah Calhoun my love life would be complete. Well what if I told you
that researchers have found that the more we believe in the love that is
portrayed in the movies, the more we destroy our real life relationships. I
don’t mean to crush the dreams of all you hopeless romantics out there but if
you keep believing in a “love like the movies” you really are making your
chances of being in a successful relationship just that; hopeless.
We spend a lot of time watching television, and if we are in
a romantic relationship we also spend a lot of time being in that relationship.
A researcher from Albion College wanted to see how cultivation theory speaks to
the relationship between the two. Does the reality presented on television
reflect the reality that is present in our relationships? This researcher
wanted to answer that question and looked at the relationship between
television viewing and marital satisfaction and commitment. To do this, 392
married individuals completed a survey, which included questions about
relationship expectations, rewards (such as humor) and costs (overcoming
challenges), commitment level, perceived quality of alternatives, television
viewing, and belief in television portrayals. The findings indicated that the
more we watch television or films that are romantic in genre and the greater
our belief is in the portrayals of romantic relationships, the lower our
commitment in our marriage will.
Another correlation was found between the
higher level of romantic themed content we watch and the higher we perceive the
costs or challenges of our marriages. We also have more, “favorable perceptions
of alternatives to one’s current relationships” the more we watch and believe
in the portrayals of relationships on film and television. So what does this
mean for us hopeless romantics? According to the research, my advice would be
to take the genre of romance in film and television with a grain of salt. Maybe
it’s fiction for a reason!
Another study also found a link between how watching
television may be bad for your relationship. Researchers from three different
universities studied how watching television shows where one is unfaithful in a
relationship correlated to the level of regret felt by people that watch these
shows and also were unfaithful in their real life relationships. So what does
this exactly mean? Let’s break it down. These researchers found that for people
that have cheated before in relationships, and felt a high amount of regret
because of their infidelity were more likely to express a greater interest in
television shows that had cheating-related storylines. Within these story lines
researchers looked at two different portrayals of cheaters, the first a
rationalization portrayal and the second was a self-blame portrayal. In other
words characters that cheated on television either rationalized infidelity or
blamed themselves for the infidelity. What the researchers found from these
portrayals was that regretful cheaters preferred the rationalization portrayal to
the self-blame portrayal. However, cheaters with little regret equally enjoyed
both of the portrayals. For regretful cheaters programs that had a character
that was cheating helped them reduce their regret. If you find your partner
watching more shows that involve cheating story lines, BEWARE!
Based on the research we can see that love isn’t always like the
movies, and maybe we don’t want it to be. Relying too much on television can ruin what we have right in front of us.
References:
Nabi, R.,
Finnerty, K., Domschke, T., & Hull, S. (2006). Does misery love company?
Exploring the therapeutic effects of TV viewing on regretted experience. Journal
of Communication, 56, 689-706.
writing comment
ReplyDeleteGreat Blog today, as usual. I don’t know if your research also covered songs, but I do remember being strongly influenced by love songs in my earlier relationships. Some of these songs I believe actually pushed me and kept me in relationships that I should have ended. I wonder if television/movies ever do the same. Television and movies also portray unhealthy relationships with all sorts of abuse, little consequences, little boundaries, and quick fixes. Do you think movies and television also help keep people in unhealthy relationships?
DeleteYour blog was interesting to me also because it dealt with marital satisfaction, a subject I’m investigating this semester too. You reported that the more we view romantic programs and “the greater our belief is in the portrayals of romantic relationships the lower our commitment in our marriage will be”. Can you clarify this for me? Do viewing romantic programs create our greater belief in romantic relationship, thus lowering our commitment? Or do we already have a greater belief in romantic relationships and watching it on TV just confirms it to us?
You made an insightful comment about watching romantic movies with a grain of salt and pointing out it is fiction. We tend to forget that as we get drawn into the story.
Nancy,
DeleteI like your comment about songs. Although I am not covering them in my research they do fall under the category of entertainment media. I also remember listening to songs that either help me express the feelings of love or helped me get over a break-up with somebody. Taylor Swift is a really good example for songs like that today. You ask if I think movies and television help keep people in unhealthy relationships and I read this article months ago that stated that people usually stay in relationships because it is easier (financially, time, emotion wise) than ending the relationship. I'm sure that television and film have an effect in how unhealthy relationships are perceived but without further research into this subject I can't really say for sure. I'm sure some researchers would say, especially in the cultivation field, that yes, we view the what the media presents as a real reality that we can live through and by. As for your second question the research was saying the more we watch romantic content where men will do anything to get the attention and affection from the women the more (according to cultivation theory) we will believe that should happen in our own relationships, and when that is not the case we are dissatisfied with our own relationships, and in the case of the research marriages. I hope this helps you to clarify some of the questions you had about the research and my blog.
-You don't pull any punches in your intro, and I love that. A appreciate your strong, clear, unwavering voice here.
ReplyDelete-Make your in-text citation a bit clearer. In addition to saying it's from "Albion College" or "three different people," add their names or the name of the article so the reader can tell which of the citations below you are referring to.
-Your writing is well organized, something I appreciate. Continue on making your write more dow-to-earth for the blog. An example: Where you write, "Another correlation was found between the higher level of romantic themed content we watch and the higher we perceive the costs or challenges of our marriages" how about, "The research found that the more we watch romantic themed media, the more we attend to the negatives in our own marriage."
-Love your topic, looking forward to hearing more...
I'm working on a comment for this one!
ReplyDeleteAmanda,
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy your blogs, and this one is no exception. I related to the idea that we can have unrealistic expectations set by the media. My sister actually stopped reading romance novels because she felt they made her unhappy in her own marriage. No Fabio for her! Fun read! I agree with Reeder regarding citation, I would like to know who the researcher was. If you place a name in there like, "Dr. John Smith, a researcher from Albion," it doesn't break up the conversational tone of the blog and gives the reader a bit more info.
Awesome blog Amanda, you always write such great posts! The visuals in this post really added to it too, nice job! I think Cultivation Theory seems like a very good fit for what you’re studying. I’ve looked at it in the past with violence so it’s really interesting to see it applied to relationships.
ReplyDeleteThis aspect of media and relationships is fascinating and seems to be the crux of what you’re studying: “In what ways do entertainment media shape our experiences of romantic relationships? Do today's most popular entertainment outlets have a direct affect on the future of my relationship? Does a real McDreamy exist our there or is this just an illusion that the media has created for us?” It seems like this blog directly addresses this idea, what effect does the media have on our expectations of relationships and how does this play out in our relationships? The key point seems to center around how the media creates unrealistic expectations for us about what our relationships should be like. It reminds me of a blog Dr. Reeder wrote about good enough being better than perfect. If we strive for our relationships to be perfect, like in the movies, then we’ll never be happy. So we should be content with the relationships we have (like you and Pickles!).
Tabbi,
DeleteThank you for the awesome comment and including my dog Pickles! I don’t want anyone to think that I have an actual relationship with the food pickles. It’s my dog!! You don’t really ask any questions but you do state, “The key point seems to center around how the media creates unrealistic expectations for us about what our relationships should be like. It reminds me of a blog Dr. Reeder wrote about good enough being better than perfect. If we strive for our relationships to be perfect, like in the movies, then we’ll never be happy.” I think that cultivation theory fits what I’m studying (in this class) nicely and yes, if we truly believe in a “love like the movies” then we are setting ourselves up to be disappointed. I’m sure that some people really do have circumstances where yes, it might be a “perfect” love story but for the rest of us we cannot continue to believe in what we see in film and television and think, wish, and hope, that it will happen to us. People most likely have great partners in their lives but just because someone did not come and sweep them off of their feet they are disappointed, which leads to real life disappointment in their real life relationships.
Dr. Reeder and Christine,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your feedback on how to make my citations better. I will take your advice for the next time I write my blog!
We love your topic, keep up the great work!
ReplyDelete